ALTHU- BUT NOT FALTHU

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This Tuesday and Wednesday was the Infosys Selection at Vel Tech Engineering College. On tuesday there was the aptitude test and everyone were busy preparing for some kind of terror. The main books that were refered were Sakuntala Devi books, RS Agarwal and some foreign author(I don't even know his name). Everyone around me were ready with the answers to all the questions in those books. I have heard from friends that they spent a large amount of their time learning for this day. You could literally ask them to say the answer to the question no 38 from
this book and they would immediately tell you the answer as 12 minutes ;-) with the steps. After the exam was over, everyone were pretty confident of getting selected. There was also a comedy which happened during the presentation. A mechanical guy was sitting near me and he was seeing my resume. I had specified there that I had done a course in Pranic Healing. He asked me how was pranic healing connected with a company like Infosys. I wanted to ask him what was mechanical engineering students doing in a company like Infosys. In all there were about ~2300 students. When the results came everyone were very tensed. There was a girl in my class who was just covering her eyes and bending over till her name was called. Nearly 45% of the students from my college were
selected. That night there were lots of people who couldn't just control themselves - lots of wet eyes.

The next day we were called in for the interview and there was some other college guys who had finished with the interview process. In St. Peters' College there were nearly 129 students who attended the interview and 110 got selected. I just got a brief idea about the interview process. When the names were called for St.Peters' College, there were a group of girls whose names got selected one by one. I was watching the reaction of this particular group. There were in total 5 girls and 3 girls got their name on the list. The HR guy told that this was the last 5names and began to count down. One girl nearly broke down and everyone around began to console her. When the last 2 names were being called upon she was crying as if she was waiting for her medical result for HIV. Luckily her name was the last one. Immediately another girl broke down (dunno whether it was for her friend selected or her not being selected ?). The HR guy asked whether the list was over - and some guys answered 'NO'. So he began reading another (last) list. When he began to count down this girl was totally lost and began to cry as if her life was
going to end. Her name was also selected and she was very happy.

I just asked Ananthu, whether this was their life? He said, this may not be for me but it was for them. This may be the last company that is coming for selection at their college and they may never get any other chance. I just said to F' them. Then I attended a pretty good interview and with the results of other colleges, I was pretty sure there was nothing so special in this selection. I asked the HR guy why they were selecting guys from all branches of Engineering. He replied that all they needed was a graduate and everything would be taken care of in the training
period. I asked what is the advantage that I - being a Computer Science graduate would be having against them. He just said that whoever performs well would be benefitted. So if you want to get more money, you just have to perform well.

We were waiting for the result and everyone were getting their names on the so called dream company list. My name too got listed in the last. So, Infosys was called as the dream company for many of these BE graduates who don't even know what hardware platform they have worked on. Many of my friends had left this field
blank in the application form. Also I was wondering what was Infosys going to do with people who don't even know how to write a basic factorial or any program for that matter.

I have got a few questions and the answers that I would get in return

* How the hell are they going to make a software engineer out of a mechanical or a chemical engineer - within 3 months. The answer that one could expect is that ...there would be a training program at Infosys Campus which is world renouned....

* Why the hell do someone cries when they don't get selected in the selection process? The answer is that one's life is settled after getting placed in Infosys.This is the dream of every student. To be settled in life and to lead a happy,satisfied life. What have they faced in life and what age are they in to even
think of settling down. This is the most productive ages of their lifes. Are there not any other jobs in the world? Can't you think of any other ways of income for a truly satisfied living?

* How can you tell others - relatives, friends, etc that you got placed in a IT company which manufactures softwares without even knowing how to use a computer. The reason is that they give training and that is the problem of the company - not mine.

I don't know how to end this article (must be an essay now) and I think there would be more of such articles in the future. I think I will end it for now by asking whether the selection process of Infosys is a dream or a nightmare? Update: Many think that I have written this article mainly because I hate
mechanical engineers(or non-IT students) / don't like them at IT companies. I have no such views. Mechanics is a great field and I love it. I just wrote this article to point out at people who take getting placed at Infosys to their heart. I hate people who cry if they are not selected by their dream company. I also hate people who boast getting selected thinking all can be learnt through the training.

Cat urine glows under a black-light.

An elephant’s tooth can weigh as much as 12 pounds.

Giraffes are unable to cough.

Camel’s have three eyelids.

When a giraffe’s baby is born it falls from a height of six feet, normally without being hurt.

Throughout its lifetime, an elephant goes through six sets of teeth. The elephant starves to death once the sixth set of teeth falls out.

Tigers have striped skin under their hair, but zebras don’t.

Crocodiles do in fact produce tears. They have lacrimal glands, just like humans,

Monkeys don’t have feet. Since they have opposable thumbs instead of big toes, they are classified as being four-handed.

Jellyfish are 95% water.

The tongue of a blue whale weighs about as much as a full-grown elephant or a 2005 Hummer H2 SUV

Female koala bears have two vaginas. Male koala bears have a bifurcated (i.e. forked) penis.

The first ‘successful’ head transplant was carried out in 1963 by Robert J. White of Cleveland, Ohio, who attached the head of one monkey to the body of another. The monkey survived for several days, during which it tried to bite the experimenters.

Elephants cant jump.

Pigs cant look up at the sky.

Dolphins sleep with one eye open.

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

Neha Dhupia and Priyanshu Chatterjee roam around on the beach till the wee hours. And Neha gets all excited to see the sunrise. Hello, here’s a geography lesson: You can’t possibly see a sunrise over the Arabian Sea from Mumbai!

When Abhishek Bachchan, Zayed Khan, Suniel Shetty and Pankaj Kapur are on the bridge and Suniel is shot, Abhishek goes up the bridge to kill the shooters. While he’s wearing Nike sneakers in one shot, he’s wearing formal black shoes in the other.

Akshaye Khanna is said to be 30 but the Big B has been in prison for 33 years and is heard saying his son was five or six years old when he went to prison. Somebody give Gaurang Doshi a calculator please.

Emraan Hashmi plays a millionaire son.Yet when Anupam Kher is admitted to hospital,he calls dia Mirza from a phone booth.It’s amazing that he doesn’t have a cell phone
in an age when even school kids do.

When Akshay Kumar and Kader Khan are drinking in his room,Kader Khan has a beer bottle in his hand.but in very next shot,when they were leaving the room ,Kader Khan
is holding a glass of beer.

When Salman Khan is on the train, Satish Shah counts five of his suitcases. But when Salman reaches Goa, he alights with only one!

Akshay Kumar and Priyanka Chopra set out for home in a yellow Maruti Zen and when they reach her house they’re in a Maruti Alto of the same colour.

The bhoots of Shanti Kutir live in the banyan tree in front of house.When the tree catches fire the bhoots melt away but nothing happens to Sushmita son who was a bhoot too,by then.

Lagta hai kaafi bada bhoot tha jo sequel mei aayega :D

When Priety Zinta dies in car accident,Salman Khan is nowhere around.So how could he visualise the death sequence in flash back as if he has witnessed it?

Preity Zinta is supposed to be a doctor in the film. But measures Bhumika Chawla’s pulse from the middle of her wrist instead of the far side of the wrist. Wonder which medical college she went to?

After the sexual harassment episode with Priyanka Chopra, When Akshay Kumar looks in the mirror,there’s a big bruise on the left side of his chest.However ,when the

cops ask him to remove his shirt,the minor bruises are intact but the big one is GAAYAB.

When Shahrukh Khan joins Priety Zinta atop of the bus,he tells her he spotted her when he was sitting in the next bus.But wasn’t he sitting in the same bus when

conductor told Priety the it was full?

What you say guys??? Think or get hold of the DVD from your collection and watch this scene again ;)

II When Shahrukh Khan falshbacks to the time he used to rescue people,there were two girls on the ledge.After he hands one to safety (Priety Zinta),helicopter takes off.What happen to the other victim???

Priya Gill gets wet in the rain. So she enters a girls' hostel to change her clothes. But after draping on a dry sari, she goes out in the rain again.

When Sanjay Dutt and Govinda learn that their father has been kidnapped, they not only break out of jail to rescue him but also manage to don police uniforms.

Govinda's mother is said to have passed away shortly after giving birth to him. But Govinda is heard saying that his mother had told him that he would become a bada aadmi some day.

When Madhuri Dixit takes SaifAli Khan to meet Akshay Kumar at a restaurant, her hair is permed. She enters the restaurant and the hairstyle changes to a step-cut. When she steps out, it's permed once again.

An advocate states that there's no case registered against Akshay Kumar. But a while later, police inspector Rajat Bedi displays an entire file of cases registered against Akshay.

Urmila Matondkar stabs Manoj Bajpai in the back but when he slides against the wall, there's no trace of blood at all.

Anil Kapoor is hit on the head, stabbed in the back and attacked with a broken bottle in his stomach. And he's still kicking and alive.

When she's humiliated by Akshaye Khanna and Amrish Puri, Aishwarya Rai is wearing earrings. But when she comes out of Akshaye's house, the earrings are missing, only to reappear in the next frame. I guess she was in too much of a 'Ghai' to bother about such trivia.

Shah Rukh Khan enters the club with a two-day old stubble. But in the next sequence, he's clean shaven.

Aishwarya Rai is shot in the neck by a foreigner. Yet, at the hospital she's seen with a bandage around her arm. There's no trace of any wound on her neck.

Ajay Devgan and Aishwarya Rai have been robbed of all their belongings. They don't have money to even buy train tickets. Yet they manage to get seats at the opera.

In the climax, Rani Mukherjee has green nail polish. Cut to the next scene where she meets Preity Zinta in a temple and her nail polish has changed to silver.

Abhishek Bachchan and Aishwarya Rai both plunge into a river,leaving behind their luggage. But in the next scene when they come out of water, the luggage is placed on the bench nearby.

Govinda checks Ash into a hotel and tells her to go to her room. She does, but without asking for her room number or her keys.

Govinda and Sanjay Dutt board a blue train to Goa. But when the duo alight at Goa, the train is red in color.

In the song 'Mujhko Khuda Ne', Fardeen & Sonali do not pay for their balloons and ice-creams.